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Insane
Plane
A girl gets
on a plane and goes up to first-class. The flight attendant tells her that
she will have to move back; her ticket is not for first class. The girl
says, "I'm female, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to see my stock broker
in California." The main flight attendant is brought in and explains that
she will have to move. The girl says, "I'm female, I'm beautiful, and I'm
going to see my stock broker in California." The attendants tell the pilot.
He comes in and looks the situation over. He leans over and whispers something
to the girl and she gets up immediately and moves out of first class. The
attendants are flabbergasted, "What did you say to her?" "I just told her
that this section of the plane doesn't go to California!"
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Hold Your
Horses
A
guy decides to try bull riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior
experience. He mounts the bull unassisted & the bull immediately springs
into motion. It runs along at a jerky pace, but the guy begins to slip
from the saddle. In terror, he grabs for the bull's horns, but cannot seem
to get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the bull's neck,
but he slides down the side of the bull anyway. The bull runs along, seemingly
impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up his frail grip, he
leaps away from the bull to try & throw himself to safety. Unfortunately,
his foot has become entangled in the stirrup & he is now at the mercy
of the bull's pounding hooves as his head is struck against the ground
again & again. As his head is battered against the ground, he is mere
moments away from unconsciousness when........
the puzzled
Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the bull off. |
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Copter
Cold
A stock broker
wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter, so she went out to the airport
to sign up. When she got out there she discovered that all of the
2 and 3 passenger helicopters had already been taken. Her instructor
decided to teach her everything that she needed to know then let her go
up in a one passenger 'copter and radio in at every 1000 feet. When she
went up she radioed in at 1000 feet and said that the view was wonderful,
at 2000 feet she said it was even better, at 3000 feet she didn't radio
in and her instructor saw her helicopter crash to the ground about a hundred
yards away. He ran over there as fast as he could. When he got there the
stock broker said that she was O.K. He asked her what happened, and she
said that at 1000 feet it had gotten a little chilly, at 2000 feet pretty
cold, but at 3000 it was just downright freezing! She then told the
puzzled instructor that she didn't remember anything after she turned off
the big fan! |
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