Hi, my name is Hades.  Well, my wife is Peresephone, my niece.  My parents are Cronus and Rhea.  My siblings are "the all-nice Zeus", Demeter, Hera, Hestia, and the washed up Poseidon.  My beloved pets are Hydra, the many headed monster.
    Today I abducted Peresephone, now Goddess of the Underworld! People say I am cold hearted. They think that is why. But no one knows but I will never tell!
    Today is our anniversary. Oh, how I wished I was in Olympus right now. There were feasts on our sacrifices' flesh. Hearing Apollo's lovely music. Oh those were the times before I was banned. Oh I got to leave another mortal to kill!