Oh yeah, break down! I got a boyfriend got a man! Back flip! I got good grades... I'm loved! Homecoming Queen here I come! Hate me cause I'm special! Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks so! Hehehe! ~dancin' like there's no tomorrow~ Goin' out to celebrate with my family tonight for makin' good grades! Got to go diary!! Goin out tonight!
~Maria~ BIG SMILES!!
Dear Diary,
I'm enclosing a picture of Seth so I can remember him always! He's only the greatest looking guy at school. All of my friends love him. This picture is of him at Chestnut Grove. Isn't he C-U-T-E? Admit it; yeah he is! He's all mine! Hate me people.... hate me! I've got the cutest boy in all of the East Coast! He's beggin' at my feet! MY feet! Hate me world... Ooo yeah! (Doin' the moonwalk! Michael can't touch this!) Bye diary.....GOT A DATE!!!
~Maria~
Dear Diary,
Oh man these people make me so mad!! I had three people tell me that Seth only went out with me because his friends dared him to!! I tried to find him after school today, but obviously, he was trying to avoid talkin' to me so he left! God, I wish I could just............I'm not even going to go there. Wait; yes I am...I'm gonna kill him!!! Darn it, I'm gonna kill him! Not really, but I should. Next time I see him, I'll... I'm going military style! Sharpshooter! He's going to pay. He'll wish he had never done that! Now... on the other hand, if he really liked me... nope! Not even going to set myself up for a big disappointment. If I wasn't a minor... Mom says I should cool it. What does she know? If she really knew what it felt like maybe she wouldn't tell me to 'cool it'. She tell me to blow up the school! If I had some explosives... I know diary, I've gone insane. It's just that he made me so mad. Writing to you really does cool me off. See ya later... after he dies.
~Maria~
Dear Diary,
Things are so much worse! He told me off. He said that the day he liked me was the day his brother decided to enter the military. He doesn't have a brother! Like I said, I'll kill him!!! That no good liar!! He's goin' DOWN!!! WAY DOWN!!! Like 6 feet underground down! I can't believe I even liked that........that......Bad person! Evil I tell you evil! He's a jerk! A big, fat, good for nothing jerk!!!! I seriously need to KILL SOMETHING!!!!! Come here Duke... come on puppy! This pencil won't hurt. It'll just go in your eye. Come here puppy. That poor dog. He came!!! I' can't kill this dog!! Ok, be cool.... relax..BREATHE. Let me go before I kill you diary.
~Maria~
Dear Diary,
Dad... He's drinking. Mom, she's oblivious to everything. She sits there. I mean she JUST sits there. I've been eating peanut butter and jelly for nearly a month. Seth still ignores me, mom just told me yesterday that I have to move out! Huh? What is going on in my life? Things have gone upside down. I mean like goin' from really bad to worse. Dad hit me yesterday. I mean he hit me! He slapped me clear across the room! It felt like stone hitting me! what's goin' on? It's like everyone hates me. At least Chantel is still my friend. She's my last one. She's been faithful... unlike Seth!
~Maria~
Dear Diary,
Help! My Dad... he... he tried to... he's gotten more violent! Mom, she just lets him hit her around. One day she's bright the next she's black and blue. He tried to hit me. He grabbed a knife... I'm in the closet. Hiding. Every time I hear his footsteps, I start trembling..... everything is falling apart.. even my only friendship. Chantel hates me now....can't say I blame her. I mean, all I did was scream at her for doing...hmmmm...absolutely NOTHING!! Well once again good bye. Good BYE FOREVER!
~Maria~
Dear Diary,
I didn't mean that good bye forever part last time. I'm going to forget Seth, forget Chantel, forget Mom, forget Dad... forget everybody! It's over. My life is completely over! Nothing matters anymore. I told my parents at dinner that I was going to kill myself. Do you know what they said? They said, 'Oh, good for you Maria. One less mouth to feed. Make sure you don't get blood all over the place.' So, out of consideration for my parents, I'm going to hang myself. Not! My dad has a lot of pistols...
~No Signature~
That night Maria placed a pistol into her mouth and shot herself. Depression isn't something that a teen should take into their own hands. It's something you need to take to a doctor. You should seek help if you believe you have an illness this severe and this serious. Be safe... don't ignore such a life threatening disease. In the novel A Solitary Blue, the main character, Jeff, deals with small bouts of depression. There are about 10,000 things that can trigger depression. Divorce, loss of friends, loss of family members, abuse, alcoholism, etc.