Funerals
are ceremonies or religious services for a person who has died, related
to burials. In the U.S. it is a custom to wear black at a funeral service. Often,
there are flowers, and sometimes a picture of the person in whose memory the
service is being held. The graveside ceremony may be more private, in many instances.
Later on, a tombstone, or marker is frequently placed in the cemetery (graveyard)
with the name and dates of the deceased person, sometimes accompanied by a short
epitaph or tribute to the person's accomplishments, to witness to the memory
to anyone who should pass by.
Such services are often sad, but they are an important celebration of a person's life. They help surviving family and friends in the grieving process. Funerals bring closure to the memory for the survivors dealing with this grief. Often, physical burial serves as a comforting closure to the memory. This becomes very difficult for the survivors when the remains of the deceased are unrecoverable. Such uncertainty, as was experienced in masses during the holocaust and various wars can be very upsetting.
Eulogies
are speeches given in tribute to the deceased during the service.
Mourning is a traditional way for people to cope with these memories. Shivah is a prescribed Jewish period of mourning, for seven days following the burial of an immediate family member. Although specific customs differ, some will burn a seven-day candle in memory of the person who has died, and at a minimum, friends and relatives visit to express their sympathies and to share memories.
Memorial
services
are different from funerals in that they are often more a celebration of
the life than the mourning of the death. They may be held later than the typical
funeral, which is usually as soon as possible after the death itself.
In most cases, memorial services are held once. However, sometimes religious ceremonies or tributes will commemorate the life or death of a person after they are gone. The most famous example is the Lord's Supper, taken in remembrance of Jesus Christ at Communion or Mass monthly, or weekly. This powerful tradition has held for almost 2000 years.
Dealing with Grief when the Memories Endure
These two books are among many exploring issues dealing with memories of people who have died.
Goldman, Linda. Life and loss: a guide to help grieving children.
Encourages ways for children to work through issues of loss and grief through "funerals, memorials, memory books, and other activities.Rees, Dawi. Death and bereavement. The psychological, religious and cultural interfaces. London, Whurr publishers, 2001. 347 p.
Examines mourning and funeral customs, and psychological and scientific insights.
