Laughter makes the world go round, we are told. So whether you are from Antartica or Zimbabwee, and you've a joke to share, please send your contribution and add to the following collection.
What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?"
"But Johnny, you can't do both."
Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?
The bassoon burns longer.
How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he'll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
The knock always speeds up.
How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a violin.
Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"
The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."
How do you make a double bass sound in tune?
Chop it up and make it into a xylophone.
How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
How can you tell which kid on a playground is the child of a trombonist?
He doesn't know how to use the slide, and he can't swing.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
