Types Of Kisses
This is a comprehensive list listing the types of kisses around. Most of the material found below was found from Internet and newsgroup archives.
If you find any more, drop us a line.
A Light Hearted Look At Bad Kisses
The Roto Rooter: Their tongue ventures so far down your throat that it actually begins to choke you.
The Rooster: They begin to kiss you, then suddenly pull way . . .lean forward, then draw back!
The Swordfish: They operate their tongue much like a swordfish uses it's snout, in a blunt and violent manner.
The Grouper: As they kiss you, their lips (which could require their own zip code) completely engulf yours.
The Deep Sea Diver: They rarely come up for air.
The Lizard: Their tongue darts in and out of your mouth like a reptile probing for its next victim.
Frozen in Time: They never change the position, posture or angle of their head. It is as if they have mastered kissing cryogenics.
The Squid: They seem to excrete an awful flavor. All you can think of is how to slip them a breath mint.
The Wrecking Ball: They kiss like a battering ram. Whoa, look out, here they come again!
Nick-o-Teen: Kissing them is like licking the contents of a dirty ash tray. When you're done, you feel like taking a shower.
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