The Dumpomatic

Many of us falter when it comes to writing our breakup speech. Usually, we mean well but are just unable to put our ideas into words and we unintentionally come across as insensitive and uncaring. 

The dumpomatic is designed to unleash that eloquent orator in all of us. Simply fill up the form below honestly and truthfully and press the "Submit" button. When you first fill up the form, the options provided might seem like gibberish but don't worry, the CGI script will process your input and create a breakup letter customized to your specifications.

The Dumpomatic is unisex, but for clarity, it has been scripted from a guy's point of view. When dumping a guy, simply substitute all the shes and hers to hims and hes.

Version 2.63 Final Release Version

Name of person you are breaking up with

How she feels about the breakup

I know this is hard for you I know this must be terrible for you I know how you are feeling I can only imagine the trauma you must be enduring I know you won't take this well You really don't want to hear this I understand how you feel about us I really really love you I really wanted to be with you forever I like you very much

Description of your relationship

our relationship is really not working out we are just not comunicating enough our relationship is on the rocks I feel that you are not giving me enough space I am not happy with our present relationship our friendship is not what I wanted it to be my parents think you are a lower life form

Verb/Predicate

go on like this continue living this lie continue with our relationship go on being together be together anymore resume our relationship

How you feel about her

think you are a wonderful person feel you are a lovely human being think you are a great person to be with think you are a wonderful lover think you are a beautiful and talented individual think you are a great comunicator and conversationist strongly feel that you are a joy to be with

What you think she deserves instead of you

really do not deserve a jerk like me really should not be with an ungrateful wretch like me really deserve a better boyfriend

How long have you felt this way?

for a long time now for quite some time as long as I can remember only recently

Why you did not break up earlier

I thought we'd be able to work things out I felt that we should wait and see how things turn out I thought things would get better I hoped things would work out I thought things would work out I wanted to wait and see before taking any action I thought that with time, things would somehow repair themselves

Your feelings of regret

am so sorry that I have to hurt you like this am so sorry if I have hurt you in any way am so sorry if you feel betrayed in any way am such a beast for doing this am such a jerk for doing this am such a complete arsehole for doing this to you

What she deserves

you deserve better you should find someone else you should find someone who treats you better you should get a new boyfriend you should go out and meet other people you should look for someone more compatible I really am not worth your time I really don't deserve your love and companionship

Your feelings towards yourself

hate myself for doing this to you blame myself totally for this mess honestly never really wanted this to happen despise myself for hurting you in any way can't get over the fact that I've just thrown away our happiness never wanted to hurt you

Why you are leaving her

we have to move on life goes on we have to take different paths I just don't love you anymore I don't feel the spark in our relationship anymore there is somebody else times have changed we need to forget the past

Blaming yourself

It's not your fault It's totally my fault It's all my fault None of this is your fault It's all my doing

Her consolation

I will always cherish the time spent with you I will always have memories of us together I will always remember you I will never forget you I will never forget what a great person you I am a fool for leaving you

Describe your current relationship

over done with now all behind us 'poof'. Gone. Finished. finished

Still friends?

we can still be friends we will always remain friends we will never forget each other will always remain dear to each other we still can see each other from time to time we will still have a good, platonic relationship.

Next: How To React To A Breakup
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