The ex-girlfriend called back
and began pulling the typical alone-ex- girlfriend techniques:
Usually, after the little trick "do you
know who this is?" she will start talking about how miserable she
is now that the guy she dumped you for, dumped her for another girl.
You have been introduced to what I call the "I've been
dumped" technique. This has the effect of making you think
"she's single again! Maybe she'll want me back!"
Now this has worked in a few cases that I have
witnessed, but think about it: she left you for a silly reason and now
she wants you back. Last time you checked you are not a spare tire. I
usually point out how shitty that must have felt and that you know
that feeling already (hint hint). By now she is hoping you feel sorry
for her, which is the first step in bringing out those old feelings
you had.
The best defense is to start talking of how
happily involved you are with your new girlfriend, of how great she
is, and describe with miniscule and painful detail all the things she
does that she never did. The conversation will not last long, she will
never call back.
She calls again. I guess she is a little more
stubborn then we originally assumed. You'll notice that this time
conversation will be more casual, and she will be very careful in
saying anything that will spark you in talking about your girlfriend.
In fact, she is somewhat smarter this time. Be careful, she will use
the "Past Approach". She will talk about times prior to your
girlfriend of when the two of you were dating and the wonderful
moments you spent together. A good deadly reply that always shuts them
up is "yeah, going out with you was a good, growing experience.
Now I know what I don't want in a woman". A nuclear bomb would've
have done less damage. After that blow you can rest assured she will
not call you ever again.
Unfortunately she has not been convinced yet and
she calls again for another blow. Her mental attacks will be a little
stronger and clearer this time. She will bring up the letters and
poems you have written her and start reading them to you. At first
you'll be surprised she still has them, and this might cause you to
start feeling again just because she didn't throw anything of you away
(even if at the time she said she had).
"Do you remember this poem you wrote
me?" she will ask. Answer with the carefully tested answers. Con
scientists have determined that this works best with a little pause
prior to speaking with a disgusted tone:
"I wrote that to you? What was I
thinking..."
Guys, don't forget to throw your letters away.
Your current girlfriend doesn't like finding that stuff in your house.
Ex-GF Survival Guide
