Even more unfortunate, men tend to learn about romance from other men. In most cases, a little knowledge from our brothers is be more dangerous than knowing nothing at all, like teaching a small boy how to pull the trigger without explaining which end the bullet comes from. In love and romance, where is the owners manual. We get one with our cars, tools, boats and sports equipment.

What the romantically challenged man needs is a manual on romance similar to what you get with a chain saw or riding mower. Or maybe if we could take romance apart like an engine, clean the points and plugs and put it back together—then we’d get it. Well, there isn’t any Owners Manual for romance—and if there were it would warn men never ever to compare the woman in their life to an internal combustion engine that needs tuning.

Although there’s no Yoda-like wisdom that unlocks the mystery of romance for genetically impaired male lovers, there are some lessons and strategies that struggling Don Juans have learned through the school of hard knocks.