Soccer Match
When Hydrogen Tech played Oxygen U, the game had just begun,
When Hydrogen racked up two fast points, and Oxygen still had none.
Then Oxygen scored a single goal, and thus it did remain,
At Hydrogen two and Oxygen one, game called because of...RAIN!
Flat Tire
Two guys were taking chemistry at the
University of Louisville. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms,
and labs, and had a solid "A" going into the final. They were so
confident that the weekend before finals (the chemistry final was on Monday),
they decided to go up to the University of Kentucky and party with some friends.
They had a great time, however, they overslept
on Sunday and didn't make it back to Louisville until early Monday morning.
Rather than take the final then, they found their professor after the final and
explained to him why they missed it.
They told him that they went up to the
University of Kentucky for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to
study, but they had a flat tire on the way back. They didn't have a spare, and
couldn't get help for a long time and that's why they were late in getting back
to campus. The professor thought this over and told them they could make up the
final the following day.
The two guys were elated and relieved. They
studied that night and went in the next day to take the final. The professor
placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them
to begin. They each looked at the first problem, which was worth 5 Points. It
was a simple question about molarity and solutions. "Cool," they
thought. "This is going to be easy." They answered the question and
then turned the page.They were not prepared, however, for what they saw on this
page. It said: (95 Points)—Which tire?
Neutron
A Neutron walked into to a bar and
said: "How much for a drink?"
And the bartender said: "No charge!"
Travelling
Chemists
On a train to a large convention there were a
bunch of engineers and a bunch of chemists. Each of the engineers had a train
ticket. The group of chemists had only ONE ticket for all of them. The engineers
started laughing, figuring the chemists were going to get caught and thrown off
the train.
When one of the chemists, the lookout, said
"Here comes the conductor", all of the chemists went into the
bathroom. The engineers were puzzled.
The conductor came aboard, said "tickets
please" and got tickets from all the engineers. He then went to the
bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please". The
chemists stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and moved on. A
few minutes later the chemists came out of the bathroom. The engineers felt
really stupid.
On the way back from the convention, the group
of engineers decided that they would try that method, too. They bought one
ticket for the whole group. They met up with the chemists in the same car.
Again, the engineers started snickering at the
chemists. This time NONE of the chemists had tickets. When the lookout said,
"Conductor coming!" all the chemists went to one bathroom and all the
engineers went to the other bathroom.
Before the conductor came on board, one of the
chemists left their bathroom, knocked on the engineers' bathroom, and said,
"Ticket please."
Q:
What are:Ba(Na)2
A: Banana
Q:
NaCl(aq), NaCl(aq), C C C C C C C
A: Saline, saline, over the seven Cs
Q:
What do you do when you find a dead chemist?
A: Barium.
Q:
What is the purpose of a doctor?
A: Helium.
Q:
What do you call a convict who dresses up as a clown?
A: Silicon.
A chemist and a mathematician setting in a faculty lounge. Suddenly, the coffee machine catches on fire. The chemist grabs a bucket and leaps towards the sink, fills the bucket with water and puts out the fire. The second day, the same two sit in the same lounge. Again, the coffee machine catches on fire. This time, the mathematician stands up, gets a bucket, hands the bucket to the chemist, thus reducing the problem to a previously solved one.
An organic chemist was preparing some dry solvent by adding sodium into it. A physical chemist came by and asked what the organic chemist was doing. The organic chemist said he was drying solvent for his reaction. After couple of days, the physical chemist came with a flask full of water and asked the organic chemist to press sodium into it so that he can have DRY WATER.
