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Father to lazy son: When
Abraham Lincoln was your age he was reading books by the
light of the fire.
Son to Father: So! When Abraham Lincoln was your age he was President!
Tim Allen: How long can a guy live without a brain?
Al Borland: I give up. How old are you?
Mrs. Taylor asked Patrick: "How do you like your new baby
Patrick replied: " She's ok, but if she does't turn into a boy soon we are going to trade her in."
Mr. Jones was talking to a little neighbor girl: " Hi,
How is your baby brother?"
Elizabeth responded: "Okay, I guess. But he sure is loud when he's crying! Daddy says he came from heaven. I guess that's why God gave him away!
A teacher had just given her second-grade class a lesson on
magnets. She reviewed: "My name starts with an 'M' and I
pick up things. What am I?"
A boy replied instantly, "A mother?"
Jeff: "Matt, what does your clock say?"
Matt: " It says 'tick-tock, tick-tock."
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