Learn as much about eating disorders as you can. Include information
on treatment options.
Learn about, and develop a support network in which you can talk openly
about your feelings and frustrations, and where you can develop a plan of
action to deal with the person with the eating disorder.
Talk directly to the person with the eating disorder about your concerns.
Pay close attention to detail about behaviors you’ve noticed and are
concerned about, and speak with the person about them.
Offer information to the person about eating disorder treatment options
and programs. Offer to go with them to talk to a professional about your concerns.
Be sensitive, but be firm.
Do not discuss the issue with others, unless the person with the eating
disorder has given you permission. But do encourage other concerned individuals
to speak with the person with the eating disorder.
Try to objective, calm and caring in discussing the individual’s
behaviors that concern you. Avoid offering simple solutions to the person
like "just eat and you’ll feel better," or "don’t
throw up anymore." If it were that simple, there wouldn’t be a problem.
Accept the person for who he / she is. Make it clear to them that your
feelings don’t depend on their weight, shape, size, or eating habits.
If a person is in acute medical danger or dealing with minors you must
exercise responsibility and authority. Trying to CONVINCE them that they need
treatment may not be an option.
. Try to maintain as normal and healthy a lifestyle as possible. It’s
important for you and the person with the eating disorder not to structure
your life around the eating disorder.
. As much as possible, try not allow your life to be disrupted by discussions
(arguments, threats, brides, guilt, or blame) concerning issues weight, eating,
and food.
. Encourage the person with the eating disorder to take responsibility.
Allow them to participate in treatment decisions. Don’t shield the person
from the consequences of having an eating disorder.
. Try to stay patient. The physical, psychological, behavioral, social,
and cultural rehabilitation of a person with an eating disorder takes time.
. Remember there is no single cause for an individual’s eating
disorder. Don’t blame yourself. Your job is to be supportive. Looking
for reasons and blaming the past is counterproductive.
. Share your thoughts, feelings, frustrations (without discussing the
person) with others who are involved. Also talk directly to the person with
the eating disorder without laying guilt or blame.
. Be a good role model around food and when discussing food or weight
related issues.
. Take care of your own social and emotional needs. If you are exhausted
(emotionally or physically), you won’t be able to provide much emotional
support.
. Compassion does not mean being manipulated by the person.
Require that the person be responsible for his or her behavior and deal with
the consequences of it.
. Remember the person has an eating disorder, but don’t
let the person’s identity to get wrapped up in that. Refrain
from speaking of "the anorexic" or "the bulimic."