[Gandhiji with his wife]

‘I learnt’, he told John S. Hoiland, many years later, ‘the lesson of non-violence from my wife when I tried to bend her to my will.

Originally grocers, the Gandhijis were bania by caste. The youngest offspring of Karamchand Gandhi alias Kaba Gandhi, Mohandas belonged to families who for three generations from his grandfather had been Prime Ministers in As a child, Mahatma Gandhi was deeply moved by the ancient play Shravan Pritibhakta portraying the boundless love of the mythical boy Sharavan for his parents. The picture of Shravan carrying his blind parents on a pilgrimage by means of slings fitted to his shoulders made an indelible mark on his mind. Obedience to his parents became his passion and the rule of implicit obedience was extended from the parents to teachers and from teachers to all elders.

Gandhiji was married at the age of 13 to Kasturbai, a quiet proud girl, who in her own quiet determined way resisted the arbitrary restriction imposed on her. ‘I learnt’, he told John S. Hoiland, many years later, ‘the lesson of non-violence from my wife when I tried to bend her to my will. Her determined resistance to my will on the one hand, and her quiet submission to the suffering my stupidity involved on the other, ultimately made me ashamed of myself and cured my of my stupidity in thinking that I was born to rule over her, and in the end she became my teacher in non-violence.’

The immediate effect of the marriage was that Gandhiji lost a year in school, though luckily it did not mean an end to his education. Although Gandhiji secretly prided himself on being an obedient child there came a time when this want of independence began to hurt and Gandhiji rebelled. In the Vaishnava community in which the Gandhis lived, meat-eating and smoking were horrible sins. Gandhiji was enticed into them in this rebellious phase. One of his classmates, Mehta, argued in favour of meat-eating, saying that the Britishers being meat-eaters could not be over-thrown by the vegetarian Indians. Meat became the cure all; it could prevent boils and tumours and drive off the ghosts which troubled little Mohan in his sleep. One complication however remained. He had to invent apologies to his mother for lack of appetite at meal times. Since lying went against his grain he preferred to wait till he grew up and became accountable to no one except himself.

As regards smoking, Mohan with another boy began pilfering stumps of cigarettes and money from the servants. He also tried smoking the stalks of wild plants. Sheer despair and a guilt complex made them attempt suicide. But courage failed them at a critical moment; rather than quit the world they decided to give up smoking. Their adventures into the forbidden land of meat-eating and smoking and petty pilfering are not uncommon among boys. What was extraordinary was the way his adventures ended. ‘Never again’ was his promise to himself after each escapade and he kept his promise.