A Spacer's Tale
By: Stephen
Mystery
A Spacer's Tale
By: Stephen Reed
Hi my name's Tesphen* Ered. You can call me Tesp. I'm an Inter- galactic Detective. I'm one of the few humans on my home world of Dars. Anyway here's my story...
Chapter 1
The Case
... It was a normal boring day on Dars. The sun was beating down as it usually does in winter. I was energy fencing* with some recreation droids, when my boss Yanr Schike came in the gym perspiring with the excitement that he always got (Yanr is human also) when he sent me on a exceptionally thrilling case.
"Tesp! Tesp! I've got an exceptionally thrilling case for you!"
See what I mean.
"What is it this time?" I asked
"Hokey Mokey was KILLED! "
"Not Hokey Mokey he's the hoky poky instructor!"
Now you may think this is pretty stupid since I sent this manuscript back to the 20th century, but in the 28th century every planet has one ruler sort of like your president. The ruler has to be a dance instructor. Planet Dars' "president was Hokey Moky the hokey poky instructor.
"How was Hokey Mokey killed?" I asked
"Well, we found blaster marks around his room, but he was actually killed by an energy blade." Yanr replied
"You mean someone or something lopped off his head?"
" You can bet your booties."
"How disgusting!", I cried, "When do I start investigating."
"Hold on bud. First you have to meet your new partner."
*Pronounced Tesp-Hen
*Fencing with weapons exactly like lightsabers from the 20th century movies Star Wars.
Chapter 2
Partners!
"P-p-p-partners? Heh! Heh! Heh! I don't THINK SO! You know I work alone Yanr." I said in disbelief.
"I know Tesp. I know. But the Big Giant Head was having a big giant migraine and rule number 6.7.839 of the Intergalactic Detective Agency (IDA) rule book states that when the Big Giant Head is having a big giant migraine always do the exact opposite of it's orders. And it said "Don't give Tesphen a partner," explained Yanr
"OK. What race is he/she/it?" I asked
"His name is Kemi Babi. He comes from the planet Xarmax*."
"What's his IQ.?" I asked. It was a pretty good question since Xarmaxtions are known for their physical abilities not brains.
"116." Yanr said with a hint of smugness.
"Pounds or IQ.?"
"IQ. what else growled Yanr. When Yanr gets annoyed he likes to hit things.
Smash! Bang!
"Hey! Yanr I was only kidding, so stop beating the droids."
"I'm sorry just no more one liners OK. I mean everybody knows you write down your cases and send them back in time. And I think you want to have this case read. Now c'mon I'll take you to meet Kemi Babi."
So we did. We took Yanr's ground speeder first to my house to pick up
some of my things. I packed my energy blade, hand held blaster, vapor brush (tooth brush, but much more sophisticated, razor, 50,000 energy chips, (our currency is energy which is very precious) hey being an IDA
detective has it's advantages, and my pet 6-3-2 Flibble Ibble Jibble Oops
Where's My Tibble. I just called him 6-3-2.
"OK. Where are we now, Yanr?" I asked impatiently
"We're at Babi's home."
Yanr took me inside, and boy was Kemi's home spacious! There wasn't anything anywhere n the 500' by 700' by 900' white room. There was one thing in the room it was Kemi Babi. Xarmaxtions are roughly humanoid,
*Pronounced Zarmax
green skinned, five headed uglies.
"How do you do?" asked the middle head of Kemi Babi
"Good." I said flatly
Without a word Yanr drew his blaster and shot all of Kemi's heads except the middle one.
"Why'd did you do that?" I screamed
"Because he's not Kemi Babi. Are you?" he said turning to the Xarmaxtion
"No I'm Johnie 6.2.349 Habble Flabble Ick Ick 7-2-9 Nanny And The Professor. I'm an_____assin droid and now it's time for you to DIE!" It said while he pointing two blasters at our heads.
Chapter 3
Johnie 6.2.349 Habble Flabble Ick Ick 7-2-9 Nanny And The Professor
"What do we do now?" I asked Yanr
"We fight." He replied while showing me a blaster that fit in his palm.
"I wouldn't do that Yanr." said Johnie
"Allright then, but if your going to kill us please tell us why." I said
"That is a reasonable request. I will tell you." said Johnie
"It all started when Ima Flake came to me to kill Hokey Moky..."
"Why'd Ima Flake want Hokey Moky dead?" asked Yanr
"Because Ima's wife got her foot stepped on in Moky's Hokey Poky class. So he hired me and I killed Moky. Then you two found me."
"What about Kemi Babi?" asked Yanr
"Just a ruse to get you here. I'm the one who gave the Big Giant Head it's big giant migraine."
"I know you can't resist a duel in energy fencing. How 'bout I win you let us go, you win you can kill us?" I said
"Sure." replied Johnie.
Chapter 4
The Final Showdown
Zzvit! Zzvit! Johnie and I turned on our energy blades and proceeded to fight. The air crackled as our energy blades met. It thrust and I parried. The match went on like this for about an hour until Yanr shot Johnie 6.2.349 Habble Flabble Ick Ick 7-2-9 Nanny And The Professor. That was the end of our duel.
"Yanr why'd you do that." I asked annoyed, I had been winning.
"Because I was bored."
"Because you were BORED!" I cried
"Ya."
"Did you get the confession on a holovid?"
"You bet. We can nail Ima Flake with the murder"
"Good." I said relieved
"Tesp, let's go home."
"Sure."
Epilogue
Ima Flake was found guilty of aiding a killer of a government official, hiring someone to kill government official and wearing a really dorky pink suit to the trial. He is now on death row. I was promoted to Co-Senior Officer of Investigations with Yanr.
THE END!!!
Age: 12
City: Kennewick
State or Province: Washington
Country: U S A
Email: S t e v e L i n c @ a o l . c o m