In Tibet all marriages were arranged by the parents. Sons or daughters
couldn't decide with who they want to marriage. Often, they don't even knew the
person who is going to be their wife or husband. Marriages between rich and
poor are usually never arranged. Most of the times, the amount of money owned
by a family is the most important
reason to marry. Looks and character are
not important at all.
Superstition is also very important. Before parents arrange a marriage, a khata is given to one another. At the same time, information about the person is collected. One of the important things for a marriage are:
- How are the 8 characters in this person?
- What is the Shengxiao of the person?
These two things has to match. If they don't, the son and daughter won't be a good couple and they won't marry.
If the parents agreed with one another, they made a marriage contract. In the contract was written that the couple had to respect and love each other, that they had to respect their parents and behave well.
Slaves couldn't marry without permission of their master. Relatives couldn't marry also. With the family of the father was this absolutely forbidden, but with the family of the mother, it wasn't that severe. Sometimes a men married more women , but that was not usual. Today, most couples marry because they love each other. Most of the marriage-habits however are still used.