Joke Contest #1: Your favorite pun
Oxymoron: Microsoft Works

Joke Contest #2

Long ago there lived a brave seafarer named Captain Bravo. He was a courageous man who showed no fear in facing his enemies.

One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, 'Bring me my red velvet jacket.'

The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red velvet jacket, and, after donning the jacket, the captain led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates.

Later on, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red velvet jacket and once again vanquished the pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs, and one of them asked the captain: 'Sir, why did you call for your red velvet jacket before each battle?'

The captain replied: 'If I am wounded in the attack, my crew won't notice my bleeding and will continue to fight, unafraid.'

All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of their captain.

As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared at the captain and waited for his usual request.

Captain Bravo calmly shouted: 'Bring me my brown corduroy pants!' -- from Richard and Tamsin in Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Joke Contest #3
This joke won by a landslide!

You know what would have happened if there had been 3 wise WOMEN instead of 3 wise MEN, don't you?

They would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and given practical gifts! - from Cynthia in San Diego, USA