The importance of family and its influences on our emotions, cannot be overstated. What follows is a very brief explanation of the family's role in the way we develop emotionally and as people.

Our families are the first group of people we come into contact with. Therefore, who we are and who we become is shaped by the functionality of our family. A family works as a system: each member fulfilling a role to suit the family's specific needs. But, the roles that we are given in our family may not necessarily be what we need for our personal development. The individual needs of the members may be overlooked in an attempt to keep the system working, ensuring its survival.

The dysfunctional family usually has someone playing the role of "the saint."

Parents sometimes impose their needs and wants onto their children, trying to meet their own needs through their children. The result here is a dysfunctional family. Some examples of the roles in a dysfunctional family include:

• The Scapegoat: this could be a rebellious child who offers his/her parents a distraction from their problems.
• The Hero and Saint: this child could take on the role as a "perfect student" who supplies the family with dignity
• The Mascot: this child is cute and funny to relieve tension that may have developed between the parents.

In order to develop into a healthy, well functioning, mature person, we need to have our basic needs met as a child. We need to be in an environment where:

• Who we are and what we feel is accepted and valued
• Our parents are accepting and see us as unique and precious

When our needs are met, we are able to develop our internal resources so that we can meet our own needs by finding constructive ways to address them in our interaction with others in work and play.

The extent to which we had a functional or dysfunctional family shapes the way we feel about ourselves and the world around us. It plays a large role in influencing our perceptions, behaviour, health and wellbeing.