Franklin, hailed as an outstanding contributor in the fields of science, politics, and literature, was also renowned for his witty tongue and humorous perspective on life. Here are some situations portraying the statesman's wit and humor:

  • Benjamin Franklin's experiments with electricity brought him fame both in Philadelphia and around the world. A crowd of gawkers once gathered outside his home, hoping to catch a glimpse of the scientist's miraculous discoveries. The shrewd Philadelphian decided to rid himself of the distraction by sending a jolting, but harmless, electrical charge through the iron-wrought fence surrounding his house. The curiosity seekers vanished quickly, shaking their heads in disbelief.
  • One time, a neighbor came to Franklin seeking advice. The neighbor wondered how thieves could be prevented from swiping beer contained in a keg he kept in his backyard. The innovative inventor had a simple solution: "Put a cask of Madeira  [expensive, highly fortified wine]  beside it, " was his witty reply.
  • In the Pennsylvania Gazette, a citizen asked editor Franklin the following question:  "If A found out that his neighbor B was sleeping with his wife, was he justified in telling B's wife, and persuading her to seek a little revenge with A?". The editor's response:  "If an kicks me, should I kick him again?"
  • While conversing with some friends at a local Philadelphia tavern, Franklin was accosted by a drunken man who had overheard him discussing the Declaration of Independence. Slandering the document, the young fellow shouted at Franklin: "Aw, them words don't mean nothing at all. Where's all the happiness the document says it guarantees us." The quick-witted statesman sympathetically replied, "My friend, the Declaration of Independence only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself!"
  • In 1723, Cotton Mather, Boston's most influential minister, was entertaining the young Franklin in his study. Mather admired Franklin's voracious appetite for knowledge. One night, as Benjamin was taking his leave, Mather accompanied the youth through a narrow corridor of his house. In the midst of conversation with the minister, Benjamin suddenly heard Cotton Mather yell " Stoop! Stoop!." However, it was too late: Benjamin slammed his head against a beam straddling the cramped hallway. The pious Mather never refused an opportunity to expound some good advice. He told the young Franklin: "Let this be a Caution to you not always to hold your head so high; Stoop, young Man, stoop-as you go through the World-and you'll miss many hard Thumps." Benjamin would heed this advice until the day he died.
  • Edward Gibbon, the British historian and myopic author of The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, refused to have dinner with Franklin in France on account of the colonial rebellion. In retaliation, Benjamin retorted that he would be happy to provide "ample materials" on the decline of the British Empire.
  • While living in Paris, Franklin was enchanted by his neighbor, the widow Anne-Catherine de Ligniville, Madame Helvetius. Franklin was attracted to her charming personality and, in 1779 at the age of 73, he asked the aristocratic lady to marry him. She refused, as she had other men, due to her overwhelming devotion to her late husband, the philosopher Monsieur Helvetius. In an attempt to have Madame reconsider, Benjamin Franklin claimed he visited Heaven in a dream and found Monsieur Helvetius married to his own deceased wife, Deborah. "Come, let usrevenge ourselves," he said.
  • Leaving Independence Hall in Philadelphia after signing the United States Constitution, a young citizen inquired: "Dr. Franklin, what kind of government did you give us? A monarchy or a republic?" Franklin's keen response was: "A republic, if you can keep it!" For Benjamin Franklin understood that the responsibility of a successful republican government belongs inherently to the people.
  • Thomas Coombe, Jr., an old friend of Dr. Franklin, visited the Franklin residence in Philadelphia frequently. Arriving one day, Thomas discovered Benjamin wearing only a single cap, rather than his usual double one that he wore to keep his head warm. When Thomas inquired why, Franklin responded that his "Head grew warm." In jest, Thomas replied, "Dr. Franklin was never accounted hot-headed." Franklin, with his sharp wit, insisted on having the last word and said, "Aye but nature seems to think so, for she is taking all the Hair off my Head."
  • While serving as an American representative in France during the American Revolution, Franklin was told that General Howe, the British commanding officer, had captured Philadelphia. However, Franklin, aware that maintaining control of the city would be a great burden, replied, "I beg your pardon, Sir, Philadelphia has taken Howe."

 

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