Having read these articles on " Only Child " above , what are you thinking about ? If you are a Chinese , we are sure you'll have some feeling ; If not , can you understand or believe it ?
For your better understanding about the situation of Chinese " Only Child " , we have quoted from " The south weekend " on May 22th , 1998 . It's a topic about a student going suicide . Person from different kinds of fields have taken part in the discussion . Not only opinions from us " Only Child " but also those not can be shared here .
It's better to point out that in China most of the children below 18 are only-children . So the education problem in China is a problem of " only children " education . All that give talks here are " only children " or their parents .
Welcome to BBS with any different opinion !
During his childhood , Fuyu Zhou was dreaming of flying . In the scene he spreads his arm merrily , fluttering as free as a bird . He flies into the sky for a short while , then lands on the ground , full of happiness . But one day all his happiness disappeared along whit his short life , after he jumped down from the top of the 19-storied building . Left was his last words :
Dear Dad and Mamma :
I'm leaving . Please don't be sad . It's Xueling Zhou who forces me to do so . He asked you to see him only because I had kicked the stool for some incident . It's unfair ! I'll bring a suit to God against him . Never will I forgive him even as a ghost !
|Live son Yu|
Student going suicide due to body punishment ( Zhou's teach in charge often seizes his ears , hits his backhead . Bit and scold is common occurrences ) maybe only a case . But behind this case , hidden education crisis is abundantly clear ; "Help the children !" is an ancient but never outdated cry ; discussions aroused by it are not only about body punishment , but also about overweight pressure of study , standards of students judgment , malady of examination-oriented education , educator's self-quality , etc . Listening to the heartfelt wishes of children , parents , teachers , and others , lots of topics are worth our consideration , but few solutions are available . We have no extravagant hope as to take great effect by only one discussion . To cause the attentions of people concerned is our heartfelt hope .
Let's look attentively at the child's flying figure , which is the most beautiful figure in the world ！！ freedom ; listen silently to his heartbeat , which is the sweetest sound on the earth ！！ life .
It's not only the teachers' problem , but also a problem of generation gap between child and their parents . If parents can communicate more with their child , understand them more , believe them more ; if they report Zhong's case to the headmaster , dare he be so arrogant ? But such kind of parents are too few . More of them believe too mush in the teachers . In their opinion , children are too young to avoid mistakes , and teachers will never wrong their children who always try to defend themselves ....... Nothing believable from the children ? They wronged in school , scolded after school , can any parents understand their state ? If they can't be believed by their teachers or parents , when failed and lonely , what can he done ?
Yaolong Chen FROM class 4 , grade 3
Qingyuan Huaqiao junior middle school , GuangDong .
Clearly I remember a thing happened when I was in Grade 4 premier school . On a winter day , after the first snow of that year . I with some of my classmates was very excited . But when I opened the window , it bumped against the side wall . A piece of the glass broken . I was so scared that I ran back to my own classroom hidden . It was not after a long time , the teacher in charge of that class came with her students and found me . As soon as she saw me , she " fond " of my little ear . She seized it immediately and dragged me to her classroom . Then she ordered me to put off my coat and hang it on the window against the wind for fear that her students would got cold . And I had to stay and stand for a whole class , shivering with cold , ears hurting as fire burning , tears in my eyes . I took great effort to force my tears lack . The coat was fluttering in the wind all of the day . Finally I paid 4 jiao for the glass . What made me even angered was that my own teacher in charge was favor of her deed and " awarded " me a whole day body-punishment .
During that period , my psychological development was abnormal . I was self-abased , study-weary with low grade and had to repeat one year's study . My parents were also disgusted with me . I felt lonely and sometime even want to go suicide . But finally I went through it firmly with only one faith！！everything will turn good when Grow up . Now recollect those days still feel feared .
Student : Yan Wen
My son who is in grade 3 premier school always comes home punctually . But one day he was much later than usual , depressed . I asked him the reason but got no answer . After my twice and again asking , he hemmed and hawed his reason . His teacher scolded him by some extremely harsh word which he would rather not tell me , for he didn't finish his homework in time . After we hastened him to finish dinner he glanced over < The South Weekend > as usual ！ he likes the cartoons in it , when he saw the title of that article , he asked me why that boy went suicide . I then told him the story chiefly . Noticing some unusual looks in his face , I thought that he must have connected it with his own matter , and lead to some other topic . But since then , I've haven no peace in mind .
My son , being introverted and stubborn , is always scolded by his teacher . We can get nothing about his situation at school from his own mouth but some deduction from his appearance and homework . I admit that he may get some psychological problem , because once we do something against his will he will make a wordless protest and sometimes even cry secretly . Dose he do the same in the school ? If so , will the teacher comfort him as we do ? Only 9 years old , but sometimes he gets so heavy a heart that sometimes we parents can't bear . The very night , when he and his mother were playing together , he talk to himself that he wanted to go suicide . We asked why , "Nothing" , he replied subconscious .
Since the first day of his school , I've been expecting that the school education can be converted from examination-system to students' quality-system . But 3 years has passed , nothing happened except that my son's bag became heavier and heavier , and his homework more and more . Last term I was invited to school for my son's homework . " Are you of low IQ number ? " ...... such were the teachings . ......
How can I make the teacher believe that my son is not low IQ number ?
Zhengyi Nong Liuzhou
My daughter , 7 and a half years old , is now in grade one premier school . Being tall , she was appointed to be monitor , captain etc , as soon as she get in school .
It seems that she is fond of " commanding the others " , strict in her work and hard in her study , even afraid of sickness for fear that the others will take her place . She is ranked as those kind of students who are both obedient and good at study . Her schoolbag is 4 or 5 times as heavy as our handbag .
Every morning , looking at her leaving home with such a heavy bag on her back , I get a sad feeling ！ a girl , 7years old only , have already step into the gate of society .
In fact we are always holding the attitude to let her growth independent . Except training her to be honesty , brave and kind-hearted , we have never forced her to do anything .
Nowadays , it's not a quite fair society . The winners get everything . Millions of people start from the same line , while few can get to the destination , with cheers and flowers .
We hope that our daughter can be of good character and scholarship , most of all be healthy and optimistic from the very beginning of school . But also we often try to make her believe that even if she is no longer the monitor or she didn't get full marks in her exam , we will still love her , bless for her !
Bo Weng & HuilingZou
One day , my wife , " a king of children " in a premier school brought several students to her office who made trouble in her natural science class . She wanted to give them a lesson . unexpectedly she heard them talking with each other quietly and secretly " Don't fear her ! She is always gentle in her voice let alone scolding students ." My wife held back her usual smiling , opened her eyes widely with anger and shouted :" Does any of you not fear me ?" The children realized their situation immediate and stood attention quickly and answered "yes" as giving a salute . Yet one of them give a "no" subconscious . The children besides him were so anxious that they drag his clothes and kicked his shoes and finally succeeded to get out several "yes" . My wife sighed with feeling "What a time even children become slyer and slyer !"
But how can they not be sly under the teachers' prestige and pressure ? Our children are living such a life that there's no respect or freedom , but exhortations from teachers . They are told to be well-behaved and obedient , or they will be looked as bad students , scolded , discriminated , and even body punished . Usually children have strong sense of self respect . To get teachers' praised and also for their own sake they've learned to speak ill of the others to the teachers , to be showy and made false report about their achievements ; they've learned to ingratiate themselves with teachers , carefully weigh up a person's words and closely watch his expression , and even to overtly agree but covertly oppose . Gradually lost their natural simplicity and child-like innocence , they have become sophisticated and sly ; or meek and subservient , they have formed a servility character of " human plus livestock " as described by LuXun . They are lack of such character as independence , self-respect and confidence ; or personality of pursuing equality , democracy and freedom . They've learned nothing about such kind of virtues which are the finest thing in the world as leniency , fraternity , humanism and humanitarianism . Is it not a tragedy of our education system and education methods ?
Mr. Xie Yong once quoted from Mei Yiqi , president of Tsinghua university that students will never be bad without education , Human are the production of education ！ his words is worth our deeply consideration .
Education University , Shenzhen
In 1930's , I went to premier school in a village of my hometown . At the beginning of every term , each teacher was provided with a well-polished board which was a "tool" of education . Almost every day there were some students to be "education" by it ten times more or less , with their palms swollen as the result . Although I never had the "honour" , it was really a warning to me . So every term , we weighed up the thickness of the board to be vigilant . Not only must we do well in our study but also behave following rules . Mischievous had to be cautious to avoid teachers' eyes . In the course of time , most of us formed a meek , conservative character ; some others form a habit of lying and being hypocritical . Even so , we were luckier than those in private school which was also in our village at that time . They said that in private school there was such punishment as being exposed to the sun in hot summer , standing outside without clothes in cold winter , and kneeling on the ground with bricks on head . All of these were common occurrences let board beating . They yearned for foreign schools . Such education of beating and scolding was a epitome of primary education in 1930's .
More than sixty years has been passed , still there's such cruel and inhuman body punishment . It's not exaggerate to say that no progress has been made in education within the past 60 years .
Lenshi , Lanzhou , Gansu
When restraining children , we always subconsciously make the mistake of confusing them with adults . However , children's inner world are completely different from that of adults . According to Psychological standpoint , children being more interested in surroundings and more curious about new happenings , always try to make everything out , which is regarded as "mischievous" by adults . Actually it's time when they are most exciting , imaginative and creative . On the contrary , when they are quiet and disciplined , which is regarded as well-behaved , their activities are usually dull and lack of imagination .So if parents can watch carefully , adroitly guide their action , and reduce bad effect of their mischievous by patient explanation , they can make them get a lot of useful knowledge from their "naughtiness" . It's thus clear that "naughtiness" itself is not a bad thing .
Well , most of the adults in China lose sight of the glitter in children's naughtily . They regard them all as wicked and disgusting conducts , and make great effort to correct them even by rigid and inflexible rules . Under such "parents-dominant" system . Naughtiness which is naturally emerged in children's growing up can't be released , Little by little , children become reserved , obedient and finally turn to be absolutely "adult-like" .
An article I've read recently said that an children-special company in America had made an investigation on 2400 children , aged from 9 to 12 , who come from China , American , France and Japan . They drew the conclusion that Chinese children were the "best-behaved" and most reserved in thinking . According to analysis of experts in charge of this investigation , the greatest difference between children from China and those from the other 3 countries are in individuality and excitement degree .
An article named " Talk From Pictures Of Children " , written by Mr.LuXun in early 1930's told us a knack to identify the nationality of children in the same foreign suits ---- those who are gentle , cultivated , uncommunicative and inactive are Chinese ; those strong , active , unrestrained and noisy are Japanese , it seems although six decades of years have passed . The "fine tradition" of are strengthened rather than formerly . It's no wonder someone always query in newspapers "where has the imagination of Chinese children gone ?"
Junwei Huang(associated professor)
XiangTan , Hunan