Sarah Eiben
6th Hour


Confidence

	I had been a choir student of Mrs. Craddock since the sixth grade, and I felt she
knew my abilities just as well as I did.  It never occurred to me that she may have thought
I was, in any way, as talented as some of the stars of our choir.  Then, one day, Mrs.
Craddock shocked me by telling me I should audition for the District Jazz Choir.  From
the experience that followed, I learned I could do anything I put my mind to.
	Mrs. Craddock was my study hall supervisor my sophomore year, and I would go
and chat with her after I got my homework done.  One day, while we were chatting, she
asked me why I had not signed up to go to the District Jazz Choir auditions.
	"The thought of singing in front of strangers and giving them an excuse to tell me
what I do wrong and that doesn't appeal to me.  Besides I hate to audition for anything," I
responded.
	Mrs. Craddock said she thought I would do just fine and eventually got me to say I
would audition.  I had a few months to polish two songs we would sing during the
audition.  The songs were a little more difficult than what I was used to.  I practiced every
day.  I practiced so much I would catch myself singing in the hallways at school, while
doing my homework, in the shower, and even in my dreams.  At times, I would miss a
note and then become so frustrated I would entirely miss a whole section.  Eventually,
though, I started to feel a little more confident.
	When the Saturday of the audition came around, I could feel my stomach knot.  I
could barely sleep the night before because I was so nervous.  I was so nervous that
morning, that I could not feel how exhausted I was.  I was pacing, and I wrung my hands. 
I could not sit down without feeling I needed to go over that one section in the music just
one more time.  Becky Wetzel and I were singing the alto part of the songs over and over
again just to be sure we had gotten them right.  Then, it was my turn.
	After I got in the tiny room, I could feel the air get hot and thin.  The room was
silent, and that made my nerves rattle.  I just wanted to get it over with and go home.  We
were given our pitches and sang acappella from then on.  I could hear myself miss a note
here and a few notes there.  I was angry with myself; and, as I became angrier, I felt tears
well up in my eyes.
	After the audition, I cried; I felt I could have done so much better than I had.  I
was angry with myself  because I had messed up in some hard spots.  Then, Mrs.
Craddock told me I had done a good job, and I felt a little better after that.
	In the following week, I became angry with myself every time I thought of that
audition.  Then, Mrs. Craddock got the list of people who were in the District Jazz Choir. 
That day, she came over to my table in the study hall and said very solemnly that she had
gotten the list of people who had made the choir.  I could feel my heart sink into my
stomach, a lump form in my throat, and the burn of tears welling in my eyes.  Then, she
got a big grin on her face and said, "You made it!"
	I could have jumped ten feet out of my chair, but I only allowed myself a tiny show
of excitement.  I could not believe it.  I had to see the list for myself.  Then, when I saw
my name, I still couldn't believe it.  I was so thrilled that the rest of the day went
wonderfully.
	From that day on, I was as confident as anyone else.  Any time someone asks me
to do something that might require a little bit of guts or courage, I'm happy to do it.  I feel
I can do anything if I put my mind to it.  

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