How do I raise my child?
It can become difficult to raise an adopted child because one should not
show differences between the adoptive child and a biological child. The
parents must keep in mind that the child needs attention and love. The
attention and the love that the parents give him/her will form their relationship
as a family. Each children has different needs, therefore each of them
needs to be raised differently. There are many similarities on how parents
raise their children. However there are differences between the adopted
child and the biological child.
Because every child is different and unique, each must be raised differently.
Each child has different needs from their parents. Most of the adopted
children have the need of love and the need of the family experience.
As part of the family, the adopted child must receive affection and discipline
as well. Also, the adopted child has the right to know the truth about
his/her origin. There is not a correct or incorrect age for children to
be told that they are adopted. However, the child should have some maturity
to understand that he/she was adopted. The maturity level of the children
would not be determined by birthdays that he/she has had, but by the experiences
and lessons the child has been through.
It is the responsibility of the parents to teach the adoptive child values,
discipline, respect, and religion. The adoptive parents would raise their
adoptive child as if it was biologically theirs. In order for the families,
of adoptive children, to function the parents must feel comfortable with
the child that they have adopted. There situations that these families
go through can become more difficult when the parents do not feel comfortable
with their children.
Stresses in Adoption
Although adoption is a beautiful thing, there is a lot that comes with adoption. Stress is a big thing that comes along with adoption. It not only comes from the adoptee but it also comes from the parents. Here are a couple things that the adoptees and parents may feel during or even after the adoption process:
Loss - is something that is there because of adoption. Without loss adoption can not be possible. Loss is something that we all share, even if we are not adopted. The feeling of loss may be greater for the person who is adopted because of the fact that they feel that they have not received something that most people have. Although this sense of loss tends to go away when the adoptee gets older, it does not go away 100%. Each individual must go through their own personal process in order to get over the internal feeling of loss that they may feel.
Grief - every person who is adopted feels some type of grief. In order for the individual to move on they must feel grief. Grief is an important step for the adoptee to understand that although they may feel loss, they have also gained. However, the process of grief is hard for an adoptee because as a society we view adoption as a wonderful and joyous occasion. For someone to grieve over this happy time would seem as if they were ungrateful or selfish. The parents who give their kids up for adoption feel grief as well. Can anyone imagine the one thing that they love in life, taken away from them, and put into the life of someone else to love and enjoy?
Guilt vs. Shame - is something that most people who are adopted feel. They feel guilt because they think it is their fault that they are adopted. They may also feel this way because they feel that they are a burden for someone else to take care of. Shame comes from not having an identity. When a person feels unloved and forgotten, Shame may come about. Thoughts that something may be wrong with them and that is why they don’t have parents may come up as well. The is certainly not the case. These feelings are normal and due tend to pass and go away as time goes on. In the mean time, know that everyone has these feelings, even those who are not adopted. Adoptees should know that these feelings go away and that soon, they will discover their identity.
Sourceshttp://www.adopting.org/silveroze/html/lifelong_issues_in_adoption.html