Parents this section is for you! If you're the parent of a victim of bullying there are many strategies that you can use to deal with bullying in a positive way.
Signs That Your Child Is Being Bullied
Here is some information that will be helpful for parents of victims. First of all, be aware that children do not always tell their parents that they are being bullied. Therefore, parents need to be aware of some possible signals that bullying is taking place. Bullying may be happening if your child:
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takes a different or long way to and/or from school |
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doesn't like going to school |
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doesn't care about their school work or grades |
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often states that he or she has stomach aches, headaches, etc. |
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does not eat as much as in the past |
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doesn't have friends |
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has a difficult time going to sleep and often has nightmares |
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comes home from school with torn or broken items |
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is missing some items |
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acts nervous or worried and does not seem to like himself or herself |
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comes home with bruises, cuts, or scratches |
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is worried about going to and from school, or doing after-school activities |
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acts stressed-out, grouchy, sad or mad when he or she gets home from school or from other activities |
If your child is showing some of these signs, talk with them and ask questions about possible bullying. You need to be a good listener. If your child tells you about bullying, remain calm and tell your child that you have empathy for them and that you are very concerned that the bullying is happening.
Ways to Support Your Child
Do not blame your child for being bullied. Reassure them that you will help them deal with the situation.
Specific ways that you could support your child include:
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Find out more information from your child, such as if there were witnesses, where the situation happened, when it happened, and who was doing the bullying. Also ask your child how he or she handled the situation and what happened next. Finally, be sure to ask if this incident was part of a sequence of bullying behaviors. |
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Do not promise your child that you won't tell anyone about the bullying. If your child is physically hurt, you will have to inform someone at school about it. By not telling, the bullying will definitely keep happening because the bully is getting away with it. |
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Take color photographs of any evidence of bullying, such as bruises or wounds, or damaged belongings or ripped clothes. |
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Remind your child to use good strategies to deal with bullying, such as "HA-HA-SO." |
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Role-play the use of these strategies with your child. You could play the part of the bully and have your child practice his or her own responses. |
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Make it clear to your child that he or she must report bullying to an adult when it happens. While it is fine that your child talks with you at home about what happened, he or she must also tell an adult where the bullying took place so that it can be looked into as soon as possible. Also, remind your child that telling is not tattling. |
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One bullying expert recommends that if no one in your child's school is taking care of bullying problems, talk to one of the school district administrators, such as a superintendent. If the problem still isn't being handled, you may even want to take a report to the police. |
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If your child doesn't have many friends, sign him or her up for clubs and organizations. |
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While no one deserves to be bullied for any reason, consider whether or not your child is being bullied because of how they dress or act. Although you don't have to buy your child the most expensive clothes, try to buy clothes that are similar to what other kids are wearing. If your child is being picked on for their social skills, teach them positive ways to behave around others. For example, teach your child to make eye contact with others, to walk with their head up, to smile at others, etc. Also, be sure that your child uses good hygiene habits, such as keeping their hair, body, and fingernails clean, and not biting their nails. Finally, if your child needs help in find good ways to change certain behaviors that annoy others, ask a school counselor to help them develop better social skills. |
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Remember that a bullied child may need more quality time together with you, as well as your regular compliments and kindness. |
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