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Personal
Accounts: Megan
(Written from the First Person Point of View)
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Introduction | Support | Personal
Outlook | Fears |Reactions
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Introduction
I understand that meeting someone who has a physical disability, such
as Amniotic Band Syndrome, can be an awkward experience if you don’t
know how to act or respond. Being a teenager with Amniotic Band Syndrome
that affects my right arm, I’ve met all sorts of people and faced
their different reactions to me. Some people just make it easy, while
others complicate the issue. In reality, having a physical disability
isn’t a big deal at all. I’m just like any other teenager.
I have the same emotions, challenges and pressures as any other girl,
plus a few extras. I want to be accepted among my peers and achieve anything
I set my heart to. By helping others learn about physical disabilities,
I hope to alleviate some of the awkwardness.
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Support
At times, it’s difficult to deal with “being different.”
Whenever I need to, I can always talk to my friends. They are always there
for me. Having good friends makes everything so much better. My family
is always there for me, as well. If I’m feeling down, my mom will
talk to me. My younger sister doesn’t see me as different. My friends
and family are my support system. I am also part of an online support
group for people who have Amniotic Band Syndrome. It helps to be able
to talk to others that have experienced the same things that I have. In
order to deal with what life has dealt to me, my friends, family, and
support group are always there to help me out.
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Personal Outlook
I probably have a slightly different outlook on life since I only have
one hand. For example, I don’t always like meeting new people. I’m
really concerned about what they’ll think of me. I feel that the
world was created for someone with two hands, which in a way, it was.
People with right hands are so much luckier then I am. Have you ever noticed,
for instance, that on measuring cups, the handle is ALWAYS on the right
side? The same is true for water fountains. It’s actually very annoying
at times. I always feel different. It’s difficult for me to get
comfortable in new surroundings. This makes me self-conscious. I don’t
like the way I look with one hand. I’m slowly starting to accept
it, but it’s still difficult. My outlook on life is different from
those with two hands, but in a lot of ways, our looks may also be very
much alike.
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Fears
I also have some fears for the future. Many of these fears have been taken
care of. I was always afraid of having to do my own hair when I went away
to college. A few months ago, I learned how to do my hair. (I wrote about
this on our blog.)
This is no longer a problem. Still, I have other concerns. First and foremost,
if I do get married, I’m afraid I won’t be able to take full
care of my children. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do their
hair, for example, or cut their meat at dinner. Those are two things that
concern me. Next, I want to know how I am going to be able to drive when
I’m old enough to get my license. I don’t want to get special
apparatus, but I may be required to have it and get a special license.
I can’t wait to get my license and drive, but I really don’t
want to be treated differently than others. Soon enough, I will reach
a solution, but until then, it will continue to be one of my concerns.
In comparison to my life, my fears are minor, but nonetheless, they are
my fears.
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Reactions
Different people respond differently towards me. Some, unfortunately,
respond in a negative fashion. There are certain things people should
never do when meeting someone with a physical disability for the first
time. Staring is one of the most annoying things. I understand that people
are curious, but how would you like it if someone just followed you around
and started at you? Being curious and politely confronting someone is
fine, but just blatantly staring is always rude. Rude comments and laughter
are also hurtful. At times people will point and laugh. I’ve heard
numerous people talk about me behind my back. People have made fun of
the way I look and act because I have only one hand. Please, never make
fun of people because of the way they look. It’s just not nice.
As the saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say,
don’t say anything at all.” It’s not my fault, or my
mother’s fault, for that matter, that I only have one hand. For
the most part, just treat others the way you want to be treated, even
if they are different. Negative responses really do hurt. (Listen to some
of my feelings about being treated differently on our podcast.)
There are some positive ways people respond to me only having one hand.
Asking questions is always okay. Don’t be nervous about asking questions.
The person has most likely been asked it before. It’s nothing new.
I actually like it when people ask me what’s wrong with my arm.
It’s like an icebreaker and gets rid of any tension. Talking casually
about their difference is fine. Some of my friends have asked me how I
play the violin, ride my bike, and do push-ups, to mention a few things.
As long as you don’t dig too deep and get too personal, it’s
most likely going to be fine. If you see someone struggling with something,
it’s always a great thing to offer to help him or her. I’m
very independent, so I dislike asking others to help me. Asking others
to help me with the stupid stuff embarrasses me. My friends always help
me even if I don’t ask for it. It’s a great thing. If someone
offers to help me, and I truly do need help, I really appreciate it. The
other day, I was having trouble tying me shoe. Normally I’m fine,
but I just could not tie the shoe. My friend offered to help me, and I
was so thankful she did. Just because someone doesn’t ask for help,
it doesn’t mean they don’t need it. Last, my friends and family
often forget that I have one hand. My mom occasionally says, “Megan!
Hold it with two hands.” I just smile in response. The people that
know me best just forget that I only have one hand. Don’t dote on
the fact that someone’s different. Just think about their personality.
It’s what’s on the inside that really counts. Even though
someone may look different, in reality, they are just like anyone else
with one less hand.
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