Introduction

In a culture where the perpetuation of family ancestral lineage and the family as a social institution are central, marriage is an important ceremony (perhaps the most important) and has many intricate customs associated with it. In the Chinese family system the wife lives with the husband's family and is deemed as no longer part of her own family, but the 'property' of the husband's family.

Arranged marriages, where the marriage match is arranged by the parents or relatives of the bride and groom were once common in Chinese society but are now of extreme rarity and viewed as old-fashioned. However, it is also ironical to note that more speed-dating companies have emerged into the market and that the occurrences of speed-dates are following an upward trend. Marriage is now usually based on the lovers' own choices. However, once the couple have chosen each other, the arrangements are usually taken over by the parents (or older relatives), thus observing traditional customs and superstitions.

Chinese men tend to marry fairly late in life, as they need to save up for the expense of the wedding: a Chinese wedding can be very expensive, especially where the involved families are of high social status. Two important components of Chinese culture- the need to avoid embarassment ('saving face') and to conspicuously display wealth and prosperity- come heavily to the fore in marriage, especially where the marriage is of the eldest son. Failure to provide a lavish wedding is likely to lower the status of the family, bring shame upon them and bring criticism from relatives raining down upon them.

There are several stages to a Chinese wedding (described under), usually under the overseeing of the groom's parents (or older relatives). Weddings are micro-planned and planning is highly time consuming. The process begins when the parents are informed of their son/daughter's intentions and, if they are in agreement, a meeting between the two families is arranged.


Wedding Costumes

Special dress is worn for the wedding, using the most auspicious colours for the ceremony: red, yellow and white. The bride and groom are not allowed to wear clothing that is black, blue or grey as these colours signify grief.

Once again, as Chinese couples adopt their Western counterparts' wedding costume, the colours red and yellow for the females have been dropped, and the colours black and grey have been employed into use for the male coat.


Wedding Gifts

A few days before the marriage day the bride will have been presented with presents by her friends and family: it is common for friends buying the presents to share the cost of their gifts. These presents consist of items useful for the traditional role of wife as homemaker, such as kitchen appliances, crockery, cloth, a sewing machine etc.

While wedding gifts might still be popular today as a token of friendship and congratulation, the presents have changed to more modern gifts. As more females today decide to seek employment in society, they seldom have time to do the household chores. Instead, the chores are either handled by the retired mother of the groom or in the case where the couple lives by themselves, a domestic helper. Therefore this signifies not only the change in gifts, but also the transition of the role of the bride in the household from a homemaker to a supporting breadwinner.


Wedding Banquet

The wedding banquet - the pinnacle of the wedding celebration- is held on the wedding day, usually at night.

Guests at the wedding banquet are formally introduced to family members of both families, and will bring a red packet and sign a guestbook. Wedding banquets may become quite large: often many over a hundred tables (over a thousand guests), depending on the financial status of the groom's family. Traditionally wedding banquets were held in the home or home compound, but nowadays it is usual, for urban Chinese, for it to be held in a restaurant or hotel.

Alcoholic drinks - uncommon in Chinese culture- are considered compulsory at a wedding banquet, and the wedding couple often drink a toast at each table of the banquet. The couple will usually be teased and join in games at the banquet.



Point of Interest
How are the rat, horse and snake related?

CONTENT
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Social Beliefs
Common Practices
Colours & Clothing
Funeral Customs & Ceremony
Infanthood & Pregnancy
Marriage & Wedding
Afterlife
Gambling
Feng Shui
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Introduction
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Conclusion
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