Sharon is a friend of Nienke.
"At my fathers funeral my two best girlfriends came by bike in the rain to stay at my side to support me. I really appreciated that. It meant a lot to me. And just because I know that my friends and family are there for me when I need them, and when I need a listening ear, I can tell my story easier. Just after my father's dead I didn't had that feeling. I was very concentrated on the word ‘cancer' and all the time that it was used, or when people swore with it, I got very aggressive. I missed my father a lot and all the time that I heard the word, I was being reminded to that. I swore with cancer also, but I felt very guilty afterwards. Nowadays things have changed. I don't get aggressive when someone swears with it: I think I gave it some space. I feel like ‘they will talk in another way when they have to deal with it themselves.' This might sound a bit mean but I just feel so. I only get angry at my brother when he swears with it. I really don't understand that."
"Last year I followed a study sadness processing at my school. This helped me a lot. Before this study I sometimes felt lonely, because I had the feeling that I was the only person who felt like that, and who was in such a situation. During this study I found out that this wasn't true, and that there are a lot of youngsters who have the same feelings as I have. I can definitely recommend such a study to people who are in the same situation as I was. You learn a lot, for example how you have to deal with your emotions. Afterwards I would have liked to hear earlier about the study. I would have liked that to be different."
Sharon 's advice for friends is: "As long as you show that your friend has your support, she/he will come to you after a while with her/his story. Help her/ him to deal with it."