Sharon is a friend of Nienke.
She is 16 years old and lives in Almere, in The Netherlands. Sharon was about 12 years old when stomach cancer was identified by her father. Yet, it was too late and the cancer was already spread out. Due to this, her father could not be cured any more. He died after four months.


"I actually wanted it to keep it as my secret. Later on I wanted to tell my best friends myself. But my teacher did something, which I really didn't want her to do. She instantly told it to my whole class. I have never known the use of it, and I have never been happy about it. All my classmates asked me all kind of questions. I wasn't sure of what happened myself at that time, and in the beginning it was very difficult for me to give it some space. My friends and classmates also didn't understand it. This caused many questions which I mostly couldn't answer. People who don't know how it feels to loose a parent can't imagine my story."

"Family and older aged friends tried to explain to me what happened with my father. Only when I heard that my father was going to die I wasn't as cool any more. Everything became clear."

"At my fathers funeral my two best girlfriends came by bike in the rain to stay at my side to support me. I really appreciated that. It meant a lot to me. And just because I know that my friends and family are there for me when I need them, and when I need a listening ear, I can tell my story easier. Just after my father's dead I didn't had that feeling. I was very concentrated on the word ‘cancer' and all the time that it was used, or when people swore with it, I got very aggressive. I missed my father a lot and all the time that I heard the word, I was being reminded to that. I swore with cancer also, but I felt very guilty afterwards. Nowadays things have changed. I don't get aggressive when someone swears with it: I think I gave it some space. I feel like ‘they will talk in another way when they have to deal with it themselves.' This might sound a bit mean but I just feel so. I only get angry at my brother when he swears with it. I really don't understand that."

"Last year I followed a study sadness processing at my school. This helped me a lot. Before this study I sometimes felt lonely, because I had the feeling that I was the only person who felt like that, and who was in such a situation. During this study I found out that this wasn't true, and that there are a lot of youngsters who have the same feelings as I have. I can definitely recommend such a study to people who are in the same situation as I was. You learn a lot, for example how you have to deal with your emotions. Afterwards I would have liked to hear earlier about the study. I would have liked that to be different."

Sharon 's advice for friends is: "As long as you show that your friend has your support, she/he will come to you after a while with her/his story. Help her/ him to deal with it."

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