Body Language
Whether we are aware of it or not our body is sending signals out to other
people most of the time. These signals are known as body language and tell other
people how we feel and what our personality is like. Sometimes it is not always
clear to tell what these signals are.
It is useful to know about the signals we are giving off as they can tell people
one thing when we actually mean the other - sending mixed signals. This can
cause many problems, for example when in an interview, you could be really
enthusiastic about the job, but your body language could be tell the interviewer
that you really dont care.
The most obvious use of body language to recognise is flirting, this is because
we are trying our hardest to impress the person or people we are flirting with.
Everyone has experienced the feeling of not really liking someone before you
properly know them. We usually refer to this as a "gut feeling" or a "hunch" and
these are two ways of describing our own body's physiological reaction
Ever thought that you have been lied to just by the way someone has told you
something. The usual signs that people give off when they are lying are:
Darting eyes,
palms not visible,
shifting from one foot to another,
hand covering mouth,
fingers tugging at the ear.
The signs are there and our subconscious picks them up. We dont always register
them but if we are lucky enough to be perceptive our brain lets us know that the
words and the gestures the person is making do not match. When we think there is
a confilct between the words a person says and the actions of their body then
our minds almost always believe what the body is telling us. Therefore it is a
good idea to know what the actions a person does towards us are to know whether
the person genuinally likes us and is being truthful towards us.
There are many everyday sayings which are directly related to body language. a
few of them are listed below:
BEADY LITTLE EYES:
The pupils unconsciously constrict when we are lying or being deceitful.
SHIFTY EYES:
The eyes avert the gaze of when someone is lying, so the eyes shift around
looking at anything and anyone but the recipient of the lie.
SPARKLE IN THE EYES:
The pupils unconsciously dilate when we are seeing something pleasurable, this
action allows more light to be reflected off the back of the eye.
OPENING UP TO YOU: A physically open gesture, uncrossed arms and legs allowing
more of you to be emotionally and physically vulnerable.
BITE YOUR LIP, TONGUE, LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH, COVERING UP:
To stop you saying something inappropriate or lying you might bite your lip or
cover your mouth as you tell the lie.
GUT FEELING, STOMACH CHURNING: A physical feeling in the stomach indicating a
dislike or uncertainty.
CHIN UP or OUT, SHOULDERS BACK:
Often said to people feeling a bit down, by raising the chin up and out with the
shoulders back it causes physiological changes making us feel more positive.
FEET ON THE GROUND, STAND ON OWN TWO FEET:
Refers back to the ancient Chinese custom of female foot binding, as those who
had this done were usually Royalty and therefore could not or would not stand on
their own two feet without causing pain.
STAND OFFISH:
When people stand a just little to far away from us for comfort, outside our
personal zone. (45cms - 1m)
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE:
When you don't want someone to get to close to you, or into your personal zone.
(45cms - 1m)
PUSHY: Someone who invades the personal space of others(45cms - 1m) would often
be referred to as too pushy.
CLOSE, INTIMATE FRIENDS:
Allowing someone into personal or intimate (0cms - 45cms) spatial zones.
PAIN IN THE NECK:
A physical gesture when something is not to our liking.
GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF:
We usually touch ourselves for reassurance in times of stress, a tight grip on
the upper arm is common.
UNDER THE THUMB,
Controlled by another person, referring back to ancient Rome when the thumb
turned downwards would almost certainly indicate death.
THUMBS UP:
Generally a form of OK, Good or Yes, but be careful where you use this gesture,
it can be highly offensive in some cultures.
MAKES MY SKIN CREEP, CRAWL, GETS UNDER MY SKIN:
A physical sensation encountered when you are not comfortable in a particular
persons company, conversation topic or tone. This is an expression mainly used
by women, as women have been proven to be more sensitive to touch and are more
aware of sensations than their male counterparts.